Pieced Together

A Slip

The first time I ever really stumbled over my words was in line at a clothing store. I was nervous about having the right amount of money, the people behind me, the grumpy cashier... So the words got stuck. My face turned red, the cashier’s face turned more sour, and I wished I could just start the whole conversation over. Oh, this is how it can feel. A taste of the frustration and embarrassment. A fraction of the weight. Oh.

A Stretch

“Almost everyone needs to give a speech or a presentation at some point in life, whether it is for a class or a job. To achieve the maximum benefit from a speech, there are basic points of etiquette to which both the speaker and audience should adhere. A speech should always begin by greeting the audience and close by thanking them for their time and attention. During the presentation, the speaker should take care to engage the audience and the audience should take care to respect the speaker.” –Lena Freund, "Good Speech Etiquette"

A Problem

I remember standing in Safeway, my arms full of candy and balloons, the night after a school dance. It was around 2 in the morning, I was wearing 4-inch heels and a sparkly dress, and all the pajama-clad shoppers around me were just staring. My older sister’s birthday was the next day (or that exact day, to be technical) and I wanted to quickly grab a gift before calling it a night. Thus, the spectacle. I knew people were wondering how I got to be there, what my story was- the looks I was getting were both prolonged and totally unashamed! But, despite however many questions ran through the minds of those late-night customers, not a single one reached my ears. What I could feel, however, were assumptions being made. Some of them could have been right, some of them could have been way off the mark. They would never know how accurate their guess was, but they would be left with that impression nonetheless. If no one approaches an unknown or takes the initiative to form a bridge between curiosity and information, all that remains is imagination, misconceptions, media influence, and initial reactions… what remains is unfamiliarity.

A Justification

The story of my clothing store slip was filled with forced reasoning before I had even finished it. Why do I feel the need to justify why I was stressed, to share the circumstances, to treat my stumble as an error that warrants serious explanation? A stutter has no rationalization. It has no “oh, I must be tired” or “I just can’t think straight today!” What it has for my little sister, despite its ever-changing nature, is consistency - a never-ending presence, a constant void of reason. It gets less severe and it becomes more prominent, but it never ceases to be there.

A Light

My little sister can’t hear “NSA” without smiling. It stands for the National Stuttering Association, but it means much more. When their annual conferences are held, people who stutter and their families can come together. There are games, workshops, dances, and good food. It’s a place with no expectations and no shame. It’s the one place where people will look you in the eye, stutter or not, where a speech impediment doesn’t have to be just a hindrance, where friendships are formed in the purest way. My little sister says that she doesn’t care much about the activities; she cares about the people. It’s funny how connections work. Funny what understanding can do.