"Found Memories"

(Note: Unrelated to stuttering)

The movie is called “Found Memories.” It’s set in a small town in Brazil, characterized by unused train tracks, bread making, and a local Catholic church. Life is simple for the people who live there – every day is quiet and routine. The elderly Madalena walks along the train tracks to deliver her bread, argues and drinks coffee with Antonio, attends church in the afternoon, and then has a meal with other villagers.

It is a set pattern in Madalena’s life, each day unchanging, as emphasized by the brief, repetitive dialogue and the camera angles that show the same perspective of each scene again and again.

When Rita, a young photographer, shows up at Madalena’s front door asking for a place to stay for a few nights, it is as unexpected to the audience as it is for the older woman. This is certainly not routine. If anything, Rita’s appearance is exciting and adventurous – the beautiful photographer represents everything uncertain in life. She doesn’t know if she’ll have a place to stay or where she’ll go next. She takes each day as it comes, never nearing the repetition that governs the people of the small Brazilian village.

The villagers don’t accept her at first. They stare, walk away when she approaches them, and talk about her behind her back. However, as time goes on, Rita becomes more and more integrated into the community.

Their story shows us to accept others: in the end, Rita becomes a vital part of the village because of the bread making skills that Madalena has taught her. We never know what we’re missing out on when we exclude another person.

We can also learn to not get stuck in the path that is most comfortable, familiar, and easy to us. Because of Rita’s influence, Madalena learned to accept herself. She was no longer afraid to die or ashamed of her age. She wasn’t stuck in the place she had been for years. She communicated and grew because she reached outside her comfort zone.

Expanding beyond the life you are used to helps not only yourself, but also others. Madalena let Rita into her heart, and received more self-confidence as well as the ability to spread her legacy.

Never get stuck in the easiest routine of life. Never exclude someone who could open countless, unknown doors for you.

(To watch the film, search for "Found Memories" in your Netflix instant queue)

Stuttering and Bullying

My little sister posted this on her online school’s page for bullying awareness month. She hopes that you all enjoy it and that it gives you a little insight into her life in school as a person who stutters:


Hi everyone! My name is Isabel, and I am a person who stutters! I developed my stutter at the age of 3, and unlike most people, who stutter when they are children and quickly grow out of it, overtime it began clear that I was one of the 3 million cases in the world that would carry my stutter with me for my entire life. Try to imagine my devastation when I was told "Sorry, but there is no cure for stuttering." From the age of 3 I was branded with a mark that made me different, a blemish that made me stand out from the crowd. And this mark could not be hidden.

I feel that I need to pause for a bit to clarify, for the readers that may be confused, what stuttering really is. No, it is not caused by emotional issues. And NO, it is not a “nervous” problem. Stuttering is not caused by anxiousness, though it is affected by it. Stuttering is a communication disorder involving disruptions, or “disfluencies” in a person’s speech. Part of me hates that definition, because stuttering is so much more than that to me. It is a huge part of my daily life. Stuttering decides what I will order at Starbucks, whether or not I’m going to hang out with my friends today, whether I’m going to pick up the phone, and whether or not I’m going to talk to that one boy that I like.

“What is your name?” I hated asking it, and I hated it being asked to me. I’ve always thought how unfair it is that my biggest weakness is out there for the world to see. I sometimes try to cover it up, using the thousands of techniques that I have been taught at a thousand speech therapy sessions, which I had gone to for a thousand years. But once that question has been asked there is absolutely nothing that I can do. They will see my face contort as I try to squeeze out “I-I-I-I-Isabel S-S-S-Szilagyi”, and I will see the look of confusion and discomfort written all over their face when I finally finish and look up from my shoes. And that will only cause me to stutter more. It is an endless cycle that I will never escape from.

The world we live in is an impatient one, and it is constantly looking for points of weakness. When I entered elementary school, there was no hope for me to emerge unscathed. I quickly learned that, for me, kindness and patience was not only hard to come by, but close to non-existent in the elementary world. No amount of therapy sessions will help me deal with all the times that I was told to spit it out, or asked what was wrong with me. During my elementary years, the majority of the kids would not speak to me or look at me other than to mock me or push me around. I only had a couple of best friends, but that was all I needed. They didn't care if I had a stutter, and their kindness and patience meant so much to me.

I finally moved to a choice school in 6th grade to get away from the bullying, but I could never escape from it, and middle school started out rough. There was a group of boys in my class that would bully me frequently. They would do things like record me talking on their phones without me knowing and make fun of me. Finally the main person that would bully me left and the bullying died out for the most part. As the years passed, I tried my best to never let anyone sit alone at the lunch table, because I had spent so many years all by myself, and I knew how it felt. Eventually I started making more friends by trying to accept everyone, and at last people would take the time out of their busy day to hear what I had to say.

I knew that after 8th grade I would have to move onto high school, and I was terrified to go back with the people that had previously tormented me. I ran away from the bullying, and that's how I ended up here, in Insight. I hoped that it would be a bully free environment where I could finally learn in peace, without having to walk down the hallways feeling terrified that I would get pushed around or mocked for something that I could never control. Recently I have been going to the National Stuttering Association conferences, where I have been greeted with caring, love, and patience, and because of Insight the years of bullying have finally come to an end. I am so grateful for all the people that have stood up for me and supported me, so I will continue to do the same for everyone I see! I will forever be a supporter for those who are bullied, and if you are one of those people, don't give up!

FAQ 1

I've received quite a few questions about stuttering, so I decided to quickly answer some of the most repeated ones:

"Is it helpful to finish words/ sentences for a person who stutters?"

            The answer to this is almost always no. I’ve met many people who stutter and only one of them has ever expressed the desire for another person to complete their phrases. You can always ask, but you should never assume that a person who stutters wishes for you to guess what they’re saying. Many people interrupt with completely thoughtful intentions- they want to help! The desire to try to lessen any awkwardness or shorten another’s difficult struggle is definitely valid and a feeling that I myself have had before. However, finishing someone else’s word or sentence usually proves to be the opposite of helpful: you can disturb a train of thought, give pressure, hurt feelings, portray a sense of impatience, or guess incorrectly for instance.

Person A: “Where is the l-l-l-”

Person B: “Library?”

No, lobby, and now they may have to start all over again.

"What is the cure for stuttering?"

            There is no “cure” for stuttering. Some people grow out of it with age, others never do. Sometimes speech therapy can improve fluency, sometimes it doesn’t. Whether or not a stutter lessens over time is not a reflection of how hard a person has worked on their speech. Some things work for some people and are completely useless for another. Stuttering is unique.

Three Words

There is so much that I love about this video. Stuttering is described as difficult, yet encouraged as feasible. It is showcased as unique, yet demonstrated to be something that makes a person no lesser. Multiple opinions and perspectives are all brought together to show you how different stuttering can be for each individual. Most importantly, however, is the emotion that runs through it: love. Reactions can be different and feelings may vary, but we should never lose the underlying tone of love in each of our interactions.

The National Stuttering Association's "3 Words (Nina Reeves)":

Pieced Together

A Slip

The first time I ever really stumbled over my words was in line at a clothing store. I was nervous about having the right amount of money, the people behind me, the grumpy cashier... So the words got stuck. My face turned red, the cashier’s face turned more sour, and I wished I could just start the whole conversation over. Oh, this is how it can feel. A taste of the frustration and embarrassment. A fraction of the weight. Oh.

A Stretch

“Almost everyone needs to give a speech or a presentation at some point in life, whether it is for a class or a job. To achieve the maximum benefit from a speech, there are basic points of etiquette to which both the speaker and audience should adhere. A speech should always begin by greeting the audience and close by thanking them for their time and attention. During the presentation, the speaker should take care to engage the audience and the audience should take care to respect the speaker.” –Lena Freund, "Good Speech Etiquette"

A Problem

I remember standing in Safeway, my arms full of candy and balloons, the night after a school dance. It was around 2 in the morning, I was wearing 4-inch heels and a sparkly dress, and all the pajama-clad shoppers around me were just staring. My older sister’s birthday was the next day (or that exact day, to be technical) and I wanted to quickly grab a gift before calling it a night. Thus, the spectacle. I knew people were wondering how I got to be there, what my story was- the looks I was getting were both prolonged and totally unashamed! But, despite however many questions ran through the minds of those late-night customers, not a single one reached my ears. What I could feel, however, were assumptions being made. Some of them could have been right, some of them could have been way off the mark. They would never know how accurate their guess was, but they would be left with that impression nonetheless. If no one approaches an unknown or takes the initiative to form a bridge between curiosity and information, all that remains is imagination, misconceptions, media influence, and initial reactions… what remains is unfamiliarity.

A Justification

The story of my clothing store slip was filled with forced reasoning before I had even finished it. Why do I feel the need to justify why I was stressed, to share the circumstances, to treat my stumble as an error that warrants serious explanation? A stutter has no rationalization. It has no “oh, I must be tired” or “I just can’t think straight today!” What it has for my little sister, despite its ever-changing nature, is consistency - a never-ending presence, a constant void of reason. It gets less severe and it becomes more prominent, but it never ceases to be there.

A Light

My little sister can’t hear “NSA” without smiling. It stands for the National Stuttering Association, but it means much more. When their annual conferences are held, people who stutter and their families can come together. There are games, workshops, dances, and good food. It’s a place with no expectations and no shame. It’s the one place where people will look you in the eye, stutter or not, where a speech impediment doesn’t have to be just a hindrance, where friendships are formed in the purest way. My little sister says that she doesn’t care much about the activities; she cares about the people. It’s funny how connections work. Funny what understanding can do.