FAQ 2

As I was thinking about my blog and the awareness it could raise, I grew inspired to address some other frequently asked questions that I think will help build a basic understanding of what stuttering is to those who have no previous knowledge. It's easy for me to assume that people know all the ins-and-outs of what a stutter is because I've grown up hearing one ever since my little sister was three years old. But, clearly, this is not the case in the world. I believe that one of the best ways to fight bullying or gossip is to decrease ignorance. Many people in the world simply don't know or don't understand, and reactions can range from quiet confusion to harmful words and actions. Here are some questions answered by The Stuttering Foundation:


What is stuttering? Stuttering is a communication disorder in which the flow of speech is broken by repetitions (li-li-like this), prolongations (lllllike this), or abnormal stoppages (no sound) of sounds and syllables. There may also be unusual facial and body movements associated with the effort to speak. Stuttering is also referred to as stammering.

What causes stuttering? There are four factors most likely to contribute to the development of stuttering: genetics (approximately 60% of those who stutter have a family member who does also); child development (children with other speech and language problems or developmental delays are more likely to stutter); neurophysiology (recent neurological research has shown that people who stutter process speech and language slightly differently than those who do not stutter); and family dynamics (high expectations and fast-paced lifestyles can contribute to stuttering).

Stuttering may occur when a combination of factors comes together and may have different causes in different people. It is probable that what causes stuttering differs from what makes it continue or get worse.

How many people stutter? More than 68 million people worldwide stutter, which is about 1% of the population. In the United States, that's over 3 million Americans who stutter.

What is the ratio of males to females who stutter? Stuttering affects four times as many males as females.

How many children stutter? Approximately 5 percent of all children go through a period of stuttering that lasts six months or more. Three-quarters of those will recover by late childhood, leaving about 1% with a long-term problem. The best prevention tool is early intervention.

Is stuttering caused by emotional or psychological problems? Children and adults who stutter are no more likely to have psychological or emotional problems than children and adults who do not. There is no reason to believe that emotional trauma causes stuttering.

I think my child is beginning to stutter. Should I wait or seek help? It is best to seek ways that you, the parents, can help as soon as possible. (click on If You Think Your Child is Stuttering for ways to help immediately) If the stuttering persists beyond three to six months or is particularly severe, you may want to seek help from a speech-language pathologist who specializes in stuttering right away. (click on speech-language pathologists for listings by state or country.)

Can stuttering be treated? Yes, there are a variety of successful approaches for treating both children and adults (click on Why Speech Therapy? for some guidelines). In general, the earlier, the better is good advice.

I read about a new cure for stuttering. Is there such a thing? There are no instant miracle cures for stuttering. Therapy, electronic devices, and even drugs are not an overnight process. However, a specialist in stuttering can help not only children but also teenagers, young adults and even older adults make significant progress toward fluency.

"Found Memories"

(Note: Unrelated to stuttering)

The movie is called “Found Memories.” It’s set in a small town in Brazil, characterized by unused train tracks, bread making, and a local Catholic church. Life is simple for the people who live there – every day is quiet and routine. The elderly Madalena walks along the train tracks to deliver her bread, argues and drinks coffee with Antonio, attends church in the afternoon, and then has a meal with other villagers.

It is a set pattern in Madalena’s life, each day unchanging, as emphasized by the brief, repetitive dialogue and the camera angles that show the same perspective of each scene again and again.

When Rita, a young photographer, shows up at Madalena’s front door asking for a place to stay for a few nights, it is as unexpected to the audience as it is for the older woman. This is certainly not routine. If anything, Rita’s appearance is exciting and adventurous – the beautiful photographer represents everything uncertain in life. She doesn’t know if she’ll have a place to stay or where she’ll go next. She takes each day as it comes, never nearing the repetition that governs the people of the small Brazilian village.

The villagers don’t accept her at first. They stare, walk away when she approaches them, and talk about her behind her back. However, as time goes on, Rita becomes more and more integrated into the community.

Their story shows us to accept others: in the end, Rita becomes a vital part of the village because of the bread making skills that Madalena has taught her. We never know what we’re missing out on when we exclude another person.

We can also learn to not get stuck in the path that is most comfortable, familiar, and easy to us. Because of Rita’s influence, Madalena learned to accept herself. She was no longer afraid to die or ashamed of her age. She wasn’t stuck in the place she had been for years. She communicated and grew because she reached outside her comfort zone.

Expanding beyond the life you are used to helps not only yourself, but also others. Madalena let Rita into her heart, and received more self-confidence as well as the ability to spread her legacy.

Never get stuck in the easiest routine of life. Never exclude someone who could open countless, unknown doors for you.

(To watch the film, search for "Found Memories" in your Netflix instant queue)

Stuttering and Bullying

My little sister posted this on her online school’s page for bullying awareness month. She hopes that you all enjoy it and that it gives you a little insight into her life in school as a person who stutters:


Hi everyone! My name is Isabel, and I am a person who stutters! I developed my stutter at the age of 3, and unlike most people, who stutter when they are children and quickly grow out of it, overtime it began clear that I was one of the 3 million cases in the world that would carry my stutter with me for my entire life. Try to imagine my devastation when I was told "Sorry, but there is no cure for stuttering." From the age of 3 I was branded with a mark that made me different, a blemish that made me stand out from the crowd. And this mark could not be hidden.

I feel that I need to pause for a bit to clarify, for the readers that may be confused, what stuttering really is. No, it is not caused by emotional issues. And NO, it is not a “nervous” problem. Stuttering is not caused by anxiousness, though it is affected by it. Stuttering is a communication disorder involving disruptions, or “disfluencies” in a person’s speech. Part of me hates that definition, because stuttering is so much more than that to me. It is a huge part of my daily life. Stuttering decides what I will order at Starbucks, whether or not I’m going to hang out with my friends today, whether I’m going to pick up the phone, and whether or not I’m going to talk to that one boy that I like.

“What is your name?” I hated asking it, and I hated it being asked to me. I’ve always thought how unfair it is that my biggest weakness is out there for the world to see. I sometimes try to cover it up, using the thousands of techniques that I have been taught at a thousand speech therapy sessions, which I had gone to for a thousand years. But once that question has been asked there is absolutely nothing that I can do. They will see my face contort as I try to squeeze out “I-I-I-I-Isabel S-S-S-Szilagyi”, and I will see the look of confusion and discomfort written all over their face when I finally finish and look up from my shoes. And that will only cause me to stutter more. It is an endless cycle that I will never escape from.

The world we live in is an impatient one, and it is constantly looking for points of weakness. When I entered elementary school, there was no hope for me to emerge unscathed. I quickly learned that, for me, kindness and patience was not only hard to come by, but close to non-existent in the elementary world. No amount of therapy sessions will help me deal with all the times that I was told to spit it out, or asked what was wrong with me. During my elementary years, the majority of the kids would not speak to me or look at me other than to mock me or push me around. I only had a couple of best friends, but that was all I needed. They didn't care if I had a stutter, and their kindness and patience meant so much to me.

I finally moved to a choice school in 6th grade to get away from the bullying, but I could never escape from it, and middle school started out rough. There was a group of boys in my class that would bully me frequently. They would do things like record me talking on their phones without me knowing and make fun of me. Finally the main person that would bully me left and the bullying died out for the most part. As the years passed, I tried my best to never let anyone sit alone at the lunch table, because I had spent so many years all by myself, and I knew how it felt. Eventually I started making more friends by trying to accept everyone, and at last people would take the time out of their busy day to hear what I had to say.

I knew that after 8th grade I would have to move onto high school, and I was terrified to go back with the people that had previously tormented me. I ran away from the bullying, and that's how I ended up here, in Insight. I hoped that it would be a bully free environment where I could finally learn in peace, without having to walk down the hallways feeling terrified that I would get pushed around or mocked for something that I could never control. Recently I have been going to the National Stuttering Association conferences, where I have been greeted with caring, love, and patience, and because of Insight the years of bullying have finally come to an end. I am so grateful for all the people that have stood up for me and supported me, so I will continue to do the same for everyone I see! I will forever be a supporter for those who are bullied, and if you are one of those people, don't give up!

FAQ 1

I've received quite a few questions about stuttering, so I decided to quickly answer some of the most repeated ones:

"Is it helpful to finish words/ sentences for a person who stutters?"

            The answer to this is almost always no. I’ve met many people who stutter and only one of them has ever expressed the desire for another person to complete their phrases. You can always ask, but you should never assume that a person who stutters wishes for you to guess what they’re saying. Many people interrupt with completely thoughtful intentions- they want to help! The desire to try to lessen any awkwardness or shorten another’s difficult struggle is definitely valid and a feeling that I myself have had before. However, finishing someone else’s word or sentence usually proves to be the opposite of helpful: you can disturb a train of thought, give pressure, hurt feelings, portray a sense of impatience, or guess incorrectly for instance.

Person A: “Where is the l-l-l-”

Person B: “Library?”

No, lobby, and now they may have to start all over again.

"What is the cure for stuttering?"

            There is no “cure” for stuttering. Some people grow out of it with age, others never do. Sometimes speech therapy can improve fluency, sometimes it doesn’t. Whether or not a stutter lessens over time is not a reflection of how hard a person has worked on their speech. Some things work for some people and are completely useless for another. Stuttering is unique.

Three Words

There is so much that I love about this video. Stuttering is described as difficult, yet encouraged as feasible. It is showcased as unique, yet demonstrated to be something that makes a person no lesser. Multiple opinions and perspectives are all brought together to show you how different stuttering can be for each individual. Most importantly, however, is the emotion that runs through it: love. Reactions can be different and feelings may vary, but we should never lose the underlying tone of love in each of our interactions.

The National Stuttering Association's "3 Words (Nina Reeves)":

Pieced Together

A Slip

The first time I ever really stumbled over my words was in line at a clothing store. I was nervous about having the right amount of money, the people behind me, the grumpy cashier... So the words got stuck. My face turned red, the cashier’s face turned more sour, and I wished I could just start the whole conversation over. Oh, this is how it can feel. A taste of the frustration and embarrassment. A fraction of the weight. Oh.

A Stretch

“Almost everyone needs to give a speech or a presentation at some point in life, whether it is for a class or a job. To achieve the maximum benefit from a speech, there are basic points of etiquette to which both the speaker and audience should adhere. A speech should always begin by greeting the audience and close by thanking them for their time and attention. During the presentation, the speaker should take care to engage the audience and the audience should take care to respect the speaker.” –Lena Freund, "Good Speech Etiquette"

A Problem

I remember standing in Safeway, my arms full of candy and balloons, the night after a school dance. It was around 2 in the morning, I was wearing 4-inch heels and a sparkly dress, and all the pajama-clad shoppers around me were just staring. My older sister’s birthday was the next day (or that exact day, to be technical) and I wanted to quickly grab a gift before calling it a night. Thus, the spectacle. I knew people were wondering how I got to be there, what my story was- the looks I was getting were both prolonged and totally unashamed! But, despite however many questions ran through the minds of those late-night customers, not a single one reached my ears. What I could feel, however, were assumptions being made. Some of them could have been right, some of them could have been way off the mark. They would never know how accurate their guess was, but they would be left with that impression nonetheless. If no one approaches an unknown or takes the initiative to form a bridge between curiosity and information, all that remains is imagination, misconceptions, media influence, and initial reactions… what remains is unfamiliarity.

A Justification

The story of my clothing store slip was filled with forced reasoning before I had even finished it. Why do I feel the need to justify why I was stressed, to share the circumstances, to treat my stumble as an error that warrants serious explanation? A stutter has no rationalization. It has no “oh, I must be tired” or “I just can’t think straight today!” What it has for my little sister, despite its ever-changing nature, is consistency - a never-ending presence, a constant void of reason. It gets less severe and it becomes more prominent, but it never ceases to be there.

A Light

My little sister can’t hear “NSA” without smiling. It stands for the National Stuttering Association, but it means much more. When their annual conferences are held, people who stutter and their families can come together. There are games, workshops, dances, and good food. It’s a place with no expectations and no shame. It’s the one place where people will look you in the eye, stutter or not, where a speech impediment doesn’t have to be just a hindrance, where friendships are formed in the purest way. My little sister says that she doesn’t care much about the activities; she cares about the people. It’s funny how connections work. Funny what understanding can do.

In the Eye: Interview Part 1

I decided to interview my little sister about stuttering, thinking I would get a couple of good quotes to share. However, after recording and then transcribing her answers, I was forced to edit and cut until I felt like only fragments remained... and yet... there were still three pages of 12-point text left standing. So, here is Part 1 of many more to follow:

My precious sister and her precious sugar

Me: When was the first time your stuttering became noticeable? How old were you?

Isabel: I started stuttering when I was three years old.

Me: How have your peers reacted to your stutter over the years?

Isabel: Often people will finish my sentences, just ‘cuz that’s an automatic thing to do. A hard thing when I'm speaking with my friends or people at school is that they won’t look me in the eye and I hate that. Because I hate thinking that I'm making people feel uncomfortable. Because it’s not like I can do anything about it.

What made me especially sad is when I went to the stuttering conference and when people stuttered it made me feel uncomfortable and I was like, "if I feel that way, what are other people feeling? I am a stutterer and it even makes me feel uncomfortable!" It blew my mind. It was worse than I ever dreamed of it being, being on the other side of it. I’d never had that experience before.

I think that whenever I'm introduced in any new situation, people have a hard time adapting to it. It was fun, in a sad way, to ask my friends what they thought on my very first day [of middle school], when they heard me talk for the first time… I had answers like “I thought that you were making fun of the teacher” or “I thought that you were having a seizure” or many varied answers that just cracked me up because of how sad it was honestly.

I was nervous about introducing myself for the first time at [school]. I have a hard time with saying my name, as everyone who stutters does. I bet half the world thinks my name is Belle now because that's just the first thing that comes out. And you know what? So my name’s Belle. I don’t like having to change it. That’s not my name. But it’s my name to them now because I couldn’t say it.

Whenever we would play those icebreaker games, where you would all sit in a circle, and then the teacher would come around, they were terrible. Because every single time it would come down to me I thought “I'm gonna throw up!” Like one of those horrifying 3-2-1 countdowns when you're on a rollercoaster. And every single time everyone would stop and stare at me! And I was thinking “nothing’s going to come out, you're just going to have to deal with it.” And that was hard. 

And I hate reading out loud books in class. I hate when I get the long parts. When I'm reading out loud, it’s really bad. I try doing things like tapping my foot and that can work some days, but some days it doesn’t. And presentations are hard. Especially since some days I don’t stutter one time and sometimes I can’t even speak. It’s like I'm a mute person. There's nothing coming out. Or I stutter on every single word. When I stutter more than usual, people always look at me ‘cuz they’re not used to it. Then I get more stressed out because I know that they’ve noticed that I'm stuttering more and I keep stuttering and then I think “this is never going to come out.”

When we’re in big groups it’s hard because these days all teenagers are just so fast. Even the kids who can say the things they want to say have a hard time getting a word in. And then here’s me and I think of something really funny and then it’s passed, you know? If I said it, it wouldn’t even have to do with the conversation at all.

Me: How does the general public tend to react to your stutter?

Isabel: Often they’ll look away from me because I think that when kids are little and they see someone that isn’t like everyone else, that’s disabled at all, always their parents tell them “don’t stare; don’t stare because it’s rude.” So I think that’s one of the reasons why when I stutter, people just look away automatically- like, everyone that I’ve ever met. They don’t even look at me.

Sometimes the general public is mean. I’ve experienced so many times when people ask “did you forget your name?” I hate that one. They think they’re just joking about it… saying things like that, making a joke, or mimicking.

I don’t like to call stuttering a disability, but I’m going to do it here. I don’t find it fair that stuttering is a disability that people find is socially acceptable to joke about. That stupid Porky Pig in those cartoons! Every single time I hear the audience laugh, I’m like “shut up!” You know? Would they have a person with [another type of disability] up on the screen and have them laugh at them? No, no one would ever do that because it’s considered rude. And horrible actually. But it’s happening with stuttering and it makes it so that when I go out into the public people are laughing at me and it’s a joke. That doesn’t seem fair.